Gadgets
The Royal Mail delivered a delightful “Home essentials” magazine on Saturday. This is one of those glossies filled with utterly useless items for home and garden, together with the obligatory nasal hair trimmer. This particular mag was very good, it contained all the usual nonsense but in amongst the dross were a few superb items for sale:
USB Cup warmer £14.99
Just plug it into your computer’s USB port and it keeps your coffee warm while you type away! Ok, so you could just get off your derriere and make a fresh cuppa, but that is just sooo passé. Instead, just disconnect your USB Modem, sit back, and watch your laptop’s batteries drain away whilst you sup hot coffee.
USB Mini Vacuum £14.99
Continuing the USB theme this little sucker lets you vacuum the remains of your warm coffee from your keyboards innards. The manufacturers have obviously given the design some thought. No doubt aware of the A&E incidents, and subsequent legal cases, that can occur when a young man is trawling for internet porn and has a vacuum cleaner close to hand, they have made the nozzle unfeasibly small.
Scare cat £5.99
This is for the keen gardener, anxious to keep urinating cats off his lawn. For a mere £5.99 you get a black cardboard cut-out of a slightly bigger than usual cat with fluorescent green eyes. Speaking from bitter experience (I am the extremely reluctant owner of three cats) I can tell you that no normal cat is thick enough to be frightened off their grass toilet by a piece of bloody cardboard, in fact they’d probably use it as bog roll. So for £5.99 all you’re really doing is providing the local felines with something to wipe their arses with.
If urinating cats really are a problem I would suggest secreting a metal plate over their preferred patch of lawn and connecting this to a car-battery. Not only does this dissuade said moggy but it provides hours of fun for all the family. For the truly competitive you could always fit a tape measure to a nearby pole and record which cat jumps the highest. J
